Dear Sandy Hook, 

I'm sorry cameras are in your face and people are asking questions that you don't know the answer to. I'm sorry that there are some who turn away as though this never happened. I'm sorry there looks like no getting better and I'm sorry for all the people who are writing these letters telling you to be strong and pull through and that it'll get better. 

There comes a point when getting better isn't an option. Only getting through. You do not lose someone precious and then just "get better." And I think people have the best of intentions, but are foolish. Getting better may not happen. And that is okay. You are allowed to miss someone for as long as it takes, even if it is the rest of your life. You are allowed to cry on their birthday and when you think of all that they could have been. People have no right to try and take that away from you.

I hope you find your own brand of getting through and that no one tries to push their personal brand of coping on you. I hope you wake up one morning, and then you keep on waking up. I hope you are able to smile at crayons again and that stuffed animals remind you of playing. I hope that you are one day able to walk past a park and it for what is is rather than what you wish it to be. 

And above all else, I hope you seek beauty in your life. For there are few people on this Earth that deserve beauty and goodness more than yourself.

- Alexandra Filsinger. Age 17. Baltimore, Maryland. 

by Alexandra Filsinger in Baltimore